exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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