all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
