i need an iv and a liver transplant
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
