well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
