I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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