is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
