But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
