I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You made out with two different species that night
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Randomize
