when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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