Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
sex in a hospital.. check
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
