Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
