I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
