sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
