And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize