She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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