she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
