I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
