my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
