you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
