Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
