um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
