i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
