I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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