WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
