She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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