I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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