just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
