I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
