I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
