Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
