she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
