Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
