I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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