We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
