Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
