i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
