evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
