She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
