so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
