That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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