Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize