he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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