week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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