we have officially lost it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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