Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
