Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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