my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
