Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
