sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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