Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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