no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
