You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize