so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
this will be a night to untag.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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