first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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