i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
