I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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