Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
