im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
