is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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