if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize