i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize