I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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