I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
