yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
we made out on top of his cat.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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