Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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